My Story of Awakening

For me it started with curiosity. My parents aren’t religious or anything, going to school and through pop culture I was aware of religion and therefore believed in it to an extent just as I would anything I was told at that age. I guess when I figured out Santa and the Easter Bunny weren’t real it was kind of a given that a god wouldn’t be either. It seemed smarter to not believe in one but I was really only suppressing a lot of my natural self by doing so. The thing that lead me to open my mind again was in fact astrology. I hadn’t ever looked into it until I was sent a link from a good friend who ironically related with my star sign (her rising sign) more than her own and I had never read a more accurate description of myself in my life. I think I’ve always spent a lot of time thinking about life and all that, you know deep shit but doubt I could ever have analyzed myself better than this bio of my zodiac sign did. I learned an incredible amount about myself and once I was introduced to that knowledge my entire belief system was shattered and I was able to explore things such as religion with a new found passion and interest. Spirituality had always been a great part of my life but I never really knew what it was. I guess we all know that language can only go so far. I had always felt my spirit though, I had always been able to experience it but it was only a feeling and therefore a very abstract concept to me. I’d be lying if I said I never felt there was something greater out there, that the incredible power  that was only ever truly revealing itself to me through the highs and lows of my emotions and the trance like state I had experienced through feeling music rush through my veins whenever I played or heard it didn’t exist. I knew there was something there but I didn’t know what it was and with all the negative stigma around religion id been exposed to I had become too closed minded to really explore the meanings of those feelings in depth though Once I started researching all this spiritual fuck something changed within me, (fuck you, you saw it coming) my third eye opened (I literally heard the bloody thing crack at one point) and I was once again able to live life in the way I did as a child, with the ability to see things with a sense of curiosity and wonder. I have had new perspectives flooding in like wild tides under a full moon. I had the thought that we might be all one and then in the buffering time of roughly a week I experienced the physical feeling that we are, that everything is connected, strung together by this inconceivable power referred to as god or source or love or life or nature or whatever in the fuck you’d like to call it and I knew it in my heart of hearts to be true. It’s been over a year since that switch was flipped somewhere in me to make me change and I’m still as curious now as I was then, I still have many superficial thoughts and I have my fair share of problems (I didn’t become omnipotent, just got to change my attitude a bit) but I’ve learned much about my own psyche and the world in general, I’ve explored my connection to the divine (so much that it became overwhelming and the whimpering pussy within me had to back off a bit) and most importantly I’ve become a bit less of a cunt and much more interested in, accepting of and in tune with the world around me. I am truly very grateful to be awake

disclaimer: my awakening was nowhere ear as intense as a proper kundalini awakening which is essentially a DMT trip would have been. those things sound fuckin hectic

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: