Youth

So before we start everyone should go listen to this chick named Billie Marten, shes an angel, actually listen to her while you read this and pour a cup of tea, we set the mood here in this bitch

So I don’t know, i thought I’d talk about a little think called youth before I blink my eyes and don’t fit in the demographic anymore.

Youth is a weird time, I mean every time could probably analyzed as weird if you think about it but kids don’t have it too easy these days.

Im 19 and I think I’m just at the start of my journey. the reason I say that is for me school just felt like a big fuck around, you rock up, you complain, you go home, you do whatever kids do, you go to sleep, wake up and then rock up to school again and you don’t have a choice in the matter so you just do it for 12 years. if your smart you utilize it and use the time you have there to your advantage or if your like me you just fuck around until they let you out so right now feels like the first time in my life that I’ve actually been in control of my own destiny and its really really scary and also simultaneously it feels kind of great. My friends and I since school have all grown a lot wiser but yet I feel like we are all very conflicted. when you’re a teenager you are at a really funny stage because when you are a kid you take on your parents perspective and when you are older you have had enough time to form a perspective strong enough to stick with. When you grow up, you realize that all those older folks that you once looked to for answers are really just as clueless and weak as you and we all either don’t know whats going on or become ignorant and pretend we do. At this age I have no idea what I want to do, in school I didn’t mind that but now I feel some heat, I feel like I need purpose more than ever, I feel like I cant wait around because at some point or another I’m going to have to do something and whatever that is I’m going to need to work hard at it to be successful. I need to get out there and start working on a career because nothing used to be my favorite thing to do but the more I do nothing now I cant hep but feel shame for it, in an ideal world we could use all the money and resources we have, share it, everyone would work a few hours a day and it would all be sunshine and rainbows but we don’t live in that world yet, the world around you is way less likely to adapt to what you want then you are to adapt to it. I don’t have a choice but to fit in whatever way I can. I think youth is almost a spiritual thing sometimes, I obviously think that youth can be a physical thing regarding your age but it can also be something in your soul. i think your youth can sometimes represent your ability to stay true to who you are regardless of how old you are. Im at the first crossroads in my life(or so it feels like), I get to choose a path now and I’m smart enough to know whatever path I choose I’ll never really know where it leads but I have to choose one, I cant just wing it anymore, I need some loose structure or i think I’m just going to feel useless forever. Its just how my brain is operating right now. I need to learn discipline, I’m way too easy going, I imagine my attitude will stay the same but I need to set some goals, hang on to them, i also need to kick my self in the arse everyday so I wont lose sight of whatever it is I want, this feels necessary right now and I hope I can do it and I hope I will be able to look back and thank myself for it. i feel like this has become way too about me but isn’t that the same for all of us, isn’t everyone focused on themselves way to much to give a real shit about anyone else, I don’t now, I don’t know much really actually isn’t the point of blogging to document my thoughts, of course this is going to be about me, what the doubledickfuck am i saying? now back to the article. I have opinions but I’m yet to see if those opinions actually benefit me. Im too young to really be certain about anything. I don’t know what to do but now i think about it, I kind of like not knowing what to do. I like having options, I like knowing I can be whatever I choose to be, I’m so comfortable being uncomfortable right now. i seem to be complaining about being young a bit but youth is quite obviously a really positive trait. I like being young, I love it! youth is great, I kind of wish I did a little more when I was even younger then now but I don’t want to change my past, i believe in fate and all that so by principal i don’t. Im happy with my life so far but I do want my future to be a little different. Since I was like 10 years old I wanted to be a musician and since then I’ve added the possibility of an actor or a comic or something like that, its all I’ve wanted, now a days I don’t mind the idea of having a normal day job but then I would have wasted 10 years fixating on becoming an entertainer and i think that’s a little sad not that i can blame anyone else except for maybe led zeppelin for inspiring me, fuck it, its all led zeppelins fault, the fucking cunts. at the end of the day I still want big things for myself and I know if I really want those things to not be bothered to work a little for them would make me a living pile of hypocritical shit, I cant tell myself these lies anymore. If I really want something badly I’m going to have to work for it. Its just common sense so right now I’m learning how to work for it, learning how to make the journey the destination and make the destination just become… fuck it, i dont know like some anxiety of losing the journey. the fact that these words resonate enough for me to write them must mean I believe them enough to at least try and apply them to my life so hopefully I won’t lose sight again and I can make my life what I want it. Like I said before this has been more for me but for you the reader, I hope you got something out of it too

Holy shit tits guys,guys, guys! I’m lucky I didn’t post this when I wrote it a few days ago but I literally just found a perfect summary of my generation and everything I’ve been talking about in this article(above), I’m dying, us millennial’s are such stereotypes, I’m such a fucken stereotype bro, fucking fuck. Isn’t it great when you find something or someone that verifies your thoughts though

Basically all us millennial’s are all like f’d up in the a ya’ll but I think now we know what our problem is (work ethic and discipline) we can focus on it and become fucking legends. Cheers for reading my bullshit rant lol, i really really appreciate it

 

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