Authenticity part 2

how the fuck do you be authentic? you cant. you try but you can never truly accomplish it consciously. i try to present myself as authentic but what we see of ourselves as well as the way in which we try so hard to get others to see us as is but a product. we want to sell ourselves as a product and we get so caught up in the product we forget we are souls first and foremost. we are the oceans, the skies, the earth, the cosmos and the glue that holds it all together, we are the algorithm for life, we are our own parents in the sense that we are part of of the infinite cycle energy that created both us and the world around us, we are small fragments of god but we cant ever truly embody that essence without killing our identity and letting go of all the memories, the decisions, sights, tastes, smells, sounds, feelings that have shaped us to become who we are so first we have to ask ourselves do we want to do that? do we want to let go of those things and if so how far are we willing to go to achieve it? well don’t stress. the soul, its there within you and is guiding you every step of the way but you can keep all the other stuff too,  you can keep the ego, you can stay as you are, you’re not obligated to transcend reality in fact i would encourage you stay who you are or at least stay who you think you are(yeah I’m doing the trippy thing again). you don’t have to become the soul, just keep in contact with it here and there. but Isaak! if we don’t become embodiment of our souls then we will never achieve authenticity, you just said that right? well not exactly, the soul and the ego can make friends in fact they have always been friends, the ego is paint layered on top of the soul – the canvas. We layer so much paint we forget about the canvas. you can hear your soul when it chooses to speak to you through your emotions and if you listen to it you can become authentic(to a point) so wear the clothes you feel like wearing, do the things yo feel like doing and think the things you feel like thinking and so on. you can always listen to your soul and integrate it with your ego instead of making the two fight. you can become one with everything else but still be just you on a smaller scale, that’s what we are. we are the picture in a magnifying glass held up to the consciousness of the universe. Im proud of my little analogy there but please don’t take this shit as gospel  or like anything ever for that matter I’m only making theories because I’ve been thinking about my own image a lot lately and that has spawned this lil’ here ol’ article her I’m writing. part of me has always been so confused by everything that I’ve had no choice but to create this other part of me that pretends to understand it all. i was such a quite kid like i swear I’ve just been perpetually thinking what the fuck is going on since i was born so I’ve always been trying to understand things and i think I’ve succeeded a lot but there is so much i don’t understand. there are so many things that still make me want to break shit. we get judged a lot and we don’t like it but it is our image that gets judged, boxed, the product we make. my image isn’t me. if you read this blog and think I’m super deep and troubled and shit that’s only because i choose to document the part of me that is because i don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to write about feeling normal. when i get triggered i know there is a knot in my personality i have to untie it. i try and unwind my subconscious and fix myself so i get super introspective think about a lot of shit and then end up with something like this article but if i feel just fine, normal you know, content then I’m not going to document that shit because beside the fact no one would want to read it i wouldn’t feel the need to document it. the more i dive into my subconscious the more i allow myself to feel scared, sad, lonely, frustrated, anxious, angry and i find new ways to deal with these emotions, the emotions that were once suppressed and the more i do this, the more i want to share it but it leads to the illusion that that’s what i am. sure i chose to present these things as me so i can’t expect any different but at the end of the day I’m just as much the parts of me i don’t document, the parts that are just fine and dandy. we are all more than we show, we all know it and we should all remind ourselves that here and there or else we will get caught up in this fight we have with ourselves that i don’t think can ever be won. we cant win this fight. we have no choice but to make friends with ourselves

authenticity part 1