I haven’t posted a blog for over 3 months now. That’s kind of what I do, I pick hobbies, stick to them for a while, then desert them for another one. I’m like a hobby slut. Or for te more sensible reader, like a little fishy checking something out then after a second or two turning away, by the way I got little fishies! I love my fishies, I got little guppies and they are rad as frick, I named them all after south park characters (butters,stan,randy,eric,kenny and kyle). One of them was pregnant and now ive got bloody heaps of little baby guppies swimming around so if they live imma need to give them away or set up another tank or something but I don’t have to worry about that yet. anyway, I wanted to come back to this blog thing. I was very determined with it when I started. I wanted to stick it out a year or so and see how I went and I almost failed but I might as well stick it out. This blog isn’t my dream or anything, just i little something i thought i might as well give a go but its relevant to my dream in a way, in fact I have a feeling everything I do is whether im conscious of it or not. you know even just due to the fact that we all know an online presence is unavoidable if you want to accomplish like anything, radio and tv are dead.
its very rare people actually get what they want in life. I think that’s because they give up. I’m beginning to discover some extra gears for my being and now im continually trying to find them again. Say what you want about astrology but this last mercury retrograde sparked something in me. I had so much energy and was so bloody productive that I may as well have done some amphetamines aye but this was just me and as a dopey insomniac that was a big revelation finding that energy. I feel like I know where I want to be now, Where I want to end up and im pretty darned confident what I have to do first up in order to get there is learn me some discipline.
I did a lot of inner work over the past few years and as a byproduct ive gained a little wisdom and have learned to control my mood and attitude a lil bit better but the next big step for me will be to learn some o’ dat discipline, some real discipline and I have such ridiculous issues with authority that I’ve always known the only way I could ever be disciplined is by self-discipline. If I really want fame and success, ya know big things, I know im going to have to make some huge lifestyle changes, some huge sacrifices and i’m going o have to put in fuckloads of work but its ultimately the only way ill ever get a real good sniff of some o dat fame which is the level up from my current drug of choice, attention .I really do believe my destiny will be something great and so far my intuition has proved itself reliable but if it was going to be easy you know, we’d all be ridiculously successful so yeah, i’d have to completely destroy myself in order to get there but this life is finite and if I don’t get there in this life I wont get there
If you wanna join me at the top, i would reccomend watching and reading Gary Vaynerchuck and also listening to Jaden Smith, they are brilliant examples of hose extra gears I was talking about and gary especially always seems to give me kick in the arse every time I wanna jump out of the race. Gary Vaynerchuck’s content is actually like crack to me though. If it wasn’t so easily accessible id suck dick fo that shit. i feel like Simba in the lion king all grown up and ready to face my responsibilities. I feel like fairy tales are real and I have warrior blood and all I need is to face the dragon. With age the world seems to get a little greyer but I dug down for some colour and I don’t want to waste that shit, that shit’s valuable.
Ive been generally feelin hella good actually, optimism is my belovd new friend. Usually when I feel this good about something, anything I manage to talk myself out of it but I read this quote recently that said doubt is just another type of faith, faith in the negative instead of the positive. I like that quote, it’s a good quote. So i think imma i guess gonna just try to run on instinct and follow my destiny and shit you know?. It’s just so easy to justify whether to do something ro not do something but just because you can justify something doesnt mean its not bullshit, so what im planning to do from now on is follow my heart, my inner compass and pray to Vishnu that way I don’t die with any regret. thats how i plan to live life.
I think life is worth living and i encourage you to debate me on it and since I believe that I think I should be creating stories worth telling. The irony is when talking or In this case writing about something like this the apathetic part of me gets scared. it wants to take control, smoke some dank kush, sit back, relax and watch consecutive seasons of South Park for ever which does sound incredible and would be in my mind mind atleast if not anyone elses a noble choice but We all have contradicting personalities inside of us and I think they might get a little insecure sometimes when we try to swim in the other direction (btw I think this is a good analogy of “self destructive behavior”). This seems to happen when we take a step into the unknown but when this happens I try and remember that change is inevitable and suffering is inevitable and the only choice we get is which poison to take. Take your pick
stan, kenny, butters and kylie hiding in the back there,