inspired by TLOP, Bundaberg rum and those English classes in high school where the teacher would get you to write a story on the spot.

once apon a time in the land of Chicago there was a prince who went by the name of Kanye. Kanye was known for having the dopest style of all the princes. when he went to war he wore limited edition louis vuitton armour and people across the land would be inawe of his swagger. Kanye was also praised work as a wordsmith, he was a very beloved poet and many adored him, Kanye was undefeated in all his endeavours, he had a beautiful wife with a thick ass, he had two beautiful kids named Donald and chance and two brothers, weezy and jeezy who were also very admired. their kingdom was in order and at peace until one fateful day when the evil eminemperor struck. Kanye had always stressed that if he fucked a model who had recently bleached her asshole and he got bleach on his t shirt he would feel like an ass hole. the evil eminemperor in a fit of jealousy sent one of his boys (in the least homo way possible) to dress up as a model, lay with the great prince and get some bleach on the great princes t shirt. Kanye in turn did very much feel like an ass hole and his pride was broken, it was then that Kanye fell into a deep depression. a depression that lasted many months meanwhile the eminemperors powers were growing rapidly. in Kanye’s absence his sons chance and Donald would tend to Kanyes responsibilities for him, his brothers weezy and jeezy were at the time off on a brave quest to spend shitloads of money on wine at far away taverns. Kanye was lost and alone, the stress of royalty had been really getting to him and the bleach on his t shirt was the straw that broke him. Kanye didn’t think any one man should have all that power, not even him but yet he was stuck with it. he went on a journey to find himself once again, a journey to nourish his soul and give him the strength once again to be the king he was born to be. he travelled long and far and encountered many great men and women who taught Kanye a range of skills. in the hills of Zion he met queen Lauryn who taught him the sacred art of killing the enemy softly. in New Orleans he met a fut cunt named dj Khalid who taught him the great art of positive focus and the law of attraction. although Kanye had learned a lot he was not sure whether his new skills would be enough to fight off the eminemperor for he knew that the eminemperor would be a tough enemy at the very least. it was then that Kanye entered into the land of Compton, it was there Kanye was approached by a young whipper snapper by the name of kung fu Kenny. Kenny recognised Kanye

“it is you, the great Kanye West, gay fish of Chicago”

to which Kanye replied

“how did you know it was me”

“I read all about you, all the stories and legands, I knew in my heart and soul if we would cross paths I would recognise you”

“that shit cray kid”

Kenny challenged Kanye to a rap battle, kanye spat a tight verse but Kenny fucking destroyed him with the most beautiful words ever spoken from ones mouth. although bitter from the defeat, Kanye knew that this kid might have just what he needed to defeat the eminemperor once and for all, Kanye asked Kenny what his secret was to which Kenny replied it is not something in which I can put into words for you but but I can show you with time. so Kanye and Kenny trained and trained for weeks, teaching each other all that they could but after some time Kanye knew he must be on his way back home, hoping that he was now equiped for the battle ahead of him.

will kanye be strong enough? or will he fail and perish?

to be continued….





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